#362

I like having my music library having random quips from Eddie Izzard thrown in.  It's like my iPod is interrupting itself because it remembered a funny story.

#361

What is up with hipsters in Volkswagens riding up my ass in a marked county vehicle?

#360

Spin around.

#359

The hierarchy of insults is not a straight line.  It is a great tree with many branches.

#358

I like guns that reload themselves.

#357

It's a video game, not a painteo game.

#356

Everybody jo-ogcon.

#355

Eyes are the nipples of the face.

#354

You have the right of way, keep moving.  God, you're so considerate, I hate you.

#353

Grumpy old people and their drug ponies.

#352

Man, I know I said I don't miss people, but that was then.

#351

I really need to write these down as soon as I think of them.  I lose so many just by forgetting them.

#350

Seems to be picking up from the holidays.

#349

It's not exactly rocket sonnets.

#348

Science, Science, Science, it's all good.

#347

See that?

#346

Channel the boredom.

#345

This is the coolest thing but it's also the absolute worst.

#344

Say you had a gallon of gasoline.  Would you get more heat from using it to fuel a generator that powers an electric heater or by just burning the gas itself?

#343

It's becoming more and more apparent that most people who try to design "cool" "new" "guns" for Call-of-Duty-esque games haven't the faintest idea how firearms work.

#342

Do you ever get hot enough that you start getting cold flashes?

#341

They did it.  They brought Bionicle back, and it doesn't even look terrible.  Actually well done, Lego.

#340

I have no idea what this is from but I really like it.

#339

Let's go play Halo.

#338

There is a huge difference between being "sexually explicit" and "containing a scene that barely qualifies as a sex scene."  Namely, whatever movie you think you saw and Iron Man 3.

#337

I'm sorry, I'm not sure we're talking about the same movie here.

#336

Science has proven that snow is definitively better than leaves.

#335

Boom,

Clap,

Eating a boat

Is harder than you think na na na na na.

#334

I feel kinda bad about it.  If you're reading this, Mike from Chick-fil-a, I apologize, I shouldn't have lied like that.

#333

Why did I order lunch in an english accent? I didn't even realize I was doing it until it was too late to stop.

#332

Copious amounts of drinking.