#1093

I'm less bothered about not getting enough sleep than I am by the fact that I'm craving a tomato.

#1092

She's maxed out.

#1091

Zengo!

#1090

Everything is cattywampus from everything else.

#1089

Hot cocoa does not work like chocolate milk.

#1088

I think going with robots is a safe bet.

#1087

I'm only now taking advantage of the Nerf Perks system.

#1086

It has a decidedly "keep handy for close encounters" kinda vibe.

#1085

Dory has short term memory loss because she drinks so much.

#1084

I spent a good 5 minutes trying to figure out how to spell didgeridoo.

#1083

I only shoot goblins and Chloe is a goblin.

#1082

Well, it happened.

#1081

If you think about it, whales swim by twerking, just slowly.

#1080

The Sprint guy looks like the liberal version of my coworker.

#1079

The gravity goes the wrong way.

#1078

Are trees immortal?

#1077

Suddenly aware of how distractible I am.

#1076

I'm all in favor of being paid by science.

#1075

I feel like Christianity would be way more exciting as a religion if the Last Supper was actually a nice meal instead of just bread and wine.

#1074

Joke's on you, vultures are cool.

#1073

I think you can assume people imply a lot of things.

#1072

I was trying to be food Beyonce.

#1071

If you like it, then you should have put a bun on it.

#1070

The moral of Tinkerbell is that if you're a b-hole, you die.

#1069

Any sensible person would choose to be a sweater ninja with a collar that tall.

#1068

Blast Hawekeye's balls.

#1067

It's like taking 5 shots while eating bread.

#1066

Let's not be Hastings. (History joke)

#1065

Can I get a court order?

#1064

Mistook that baby for a super soaker.

#1063

You will be henceforth known as Drenée.