#331

Pharmaceutical ads always make the people in them look like crazy weirdos rather than making me sympathize with them.

#330

There's no such thing as rat poison or termite poison, it's all just regular poison.

#329

Ten four.

#328

My face feels like it's dying.

#327

The best survival tools are always variations on the theme of something sharp.

#326

"You guys are second-hand drunking me."
      -Jill

#325

Stop reading this and go do family stuff, you weirdo.

#324

If Santa weren't magic, the speed at which he needs to travel to visit every house on Earth is fast enough that he would burst into flames from the friction with the air.

#323

I want future technology stuff for the most trivial uses.

#322

India, I'm sorry, I didn't even know you were here.

#321

Winter only just started.  Up till now it's still been fall.  It's also Yule, so have a good one.

#320

Hippopotamus just means big river thing.

#319

I don't understand you guys at all.

#318

That's how we do it.

#317

Fat trees and soupy yards.

#316

What a stupid thing.  It's so dumb.  I should totally buy it.

#315

Why not Japanese?

#314

San ichi yon ichi go kyu ni roku go san

#313

Apparently people really didn't like that.

#312

If you are not the intended recipient of the time and time of day today at noon to get to your site to get a lot about it in your own risk to a good day and the new year is going through some old one is not an option.

- Actual autotext from my phone

#311

Maybe a couple days to get a good idea of a sudden I think it should not use this information to you soon and get the chance.

- Actual autotext from my phone

#310

I am a little too late to the next day or two of the day.

- Actual autotext from my phone

#309

To get to your account to cover all is going through some stuff done in time of day to the top of a new car is in your own custom design is not an option in this article to you.

- Actual autotext from my phone

#308

The I think it should also check the details on this one of those days are good and evil in a new York times a year and the rest is a great time at all the other side effects of a sudden.

- Actual autotext from my phone

#307

Beep bop kill may be the sound of the Mandroid, but the sound of my android phone is way more stupid.

#306

"St. Elmo's Fire" sung by Bob Dylan.

#305

It's later than it was earlier.

#304

This is an Omega class cider.

#303

I can't stretch my front.  Why can't I stretch my front?

#302

This one seems to be working properly.

#301

Don't turn my lights off at the switch.