Jun 30, 2017

#1243

That's doodoo pow pow moodo.

Jun 29, 2017

#1242

It takes talent to be both budget Val Kilmer and budget John Hurt.

Jun 28, 2017

#1241

Is Richie Rich a shark?

Jun 27, 2017

#1240

All babies are basically Matt Murdock.

Jun 26, 2017

#1239

Bill Clinton: confirmed draugr.

Jun 25, 2017

#1238

Sunflower seeds are just subpar tiny peanuts.

Jun 24, 2017

Jun 23, 2017

#1236

If rainbows come from water in the air, why aren't clouds rainbows?

Jun 22, 2017

#1235

How do all dumpsters end up smelling the same regardless of contents?

Jun 21, 2017

#1234

I just try to not touch plants

Jun 20, 2017

#1233

Hawaiian Punch that is any color other than red is incorrect.

Jun 19, 2017

Jun 18, 2017

#1231

In the future, everyone will have flying cars, not for the convenience of air travel on demand, but to prevent roadside morlock attacks.

Jun 17, 2017

#1230

Can you bend light with magnets?

Jun 16, 2017

Jun 15, 2017

#1228

It's a little known fact that I'm powered by a weed whacker.

Jun 14, 2017

Jun 13, 2017

#1226

I feel like that should make me an honorary citizen of Norway.

Jun 12, 2017

Jun 11, 2017

#1224

And I always keep a parking warning slip in my pocket in case any of you was ponderin'.

Jun 10, 2017

#1223

This hairstyle can only be described as a mohawllet.

Jun 9, 2017

#1222

If you had more eyes, you would have less perspective.

Jun 8, 2017

#1221

I hope your thyroid is in good shape cuz I'm just gonna leeeeean on it.

Jun 7, 2017

#1220

This is the scenic route to Kevin Bacon.

Jun 6, 2017

#1219

Boba Fett is the best kind of pizza.

Jun 5, 2017

#1218

It's like if a terrorist group called themselves the Virgin Mary.

Jun 4, 2017

#1217

Would anyone mind terribly if we stopped calling them Isis?

Jun 3, 2017

#1216

Spider-Man doesn't like a pounding.

Jun 2, 2017

Jun 1, 2017

#1214

Stop, someone, messing up my ups.