Jan 28, 2018

#1455

It's like there's a character named Anna Jones in a Bollywood movie.

Jan 27, 2018

#1454

The return of Jooooooooooe Moneeeeeeeeeyyyy.

Jan 26, 2018

Jan 25, 2018

#1452

You know your roommates, Frankopher and Stefawn.

Jan 24, 2018

#1451

The stuck presbyterians to Joe Biden to rebuild the universe.

Jan 23, 2018

#1450

You can't just scare kids into illiteracy.

Jan 22, 2018

Jan 21, 2018

#1448

Can I put my pencil standing up in your box hole?

Jan 20, 2018

Jan 19, 2018

#1446

It's really pronounced more like "blow bear."

Jan 18, 2018

#1445

That's great, it starts with a bird-snake, birds, snakes, and bird snakes.
Lenny Bruce is not a snake.

Jan 17, 2018

#1444

That's wur ah live, that's maw houme.

Jan 16, 2018

#1443

Sometimes you lose your whole stomach and you need more poop.

Jan 15, 2018

#1442

Yeah, gimme a 149 chicken jimmy.

Jan 14, 2018

#1441

If you're ever compelled to murder me, murder me cool.

Jan 13, 2018

Jan 12, 2018

#1439

Then he's not a vampire, he's just a jackass.

Jan 11, 2018

#1438

Everyone knows Chesnic's legs don't work.

Jan 10, 2018

#1437

Butt chugging is so passé, just drown yourself.

Jan 9, 2018

#1436

Beds are just high, squishy floors.

Jan 8, 2018

#1435

It's probably jus Baphomet-related lupus.

Jan 7, 2018

#1434

I throw my hands up in the air sometimes,
Saying "Heyyyyyyy yaaaaaaaa,"
"Heyyy yaaaaaaaaaaa."

Jan 6, 2018

#1433

The President of Turkey, also known as Dingahinga.

Jan 5, 2018

#1432

In another life, Shane was a cinnamon roll.

Jan 4, 2018

#1431

If it's warmer than the heat-death of the universe outside, then I'm wearing sandals.

Jan 3, 2018

#1430

Take a drink every time Thoth vindicates someone.

Jan 2, 2018

Jan 1, 2018

#1428

Careful, Axel, there’s Galsia and Galsia and Galsia and Donovan.