#696

Unless you're underage, driving, or Mormon, you really have no excuse.

#695

Sofritas make you cough.

#694

Every time you jump, you literally fall off the face of the Earth.

#693

You can justify or refute any argument by ending a statement with "...but still..."

#692

Sleepiness is the only condition that cures itself.

#691

Earrings could be heavier if my hat was made of whispers and dreams.

#690

Tomatoes are like rum and jazz.

#689

Wait, when did it become Christmas all of a sudden?

#688

Hiccups are anti-yawns.

#687

This took both more and less time than I expected.

#686

Man, squirrels are dumb.

#685

It's finally freaking cold out, unfortunately it's also freaking cold out.

#684

It doesn't matter how good or similar to Sunkist it is, I am the final judge of whether or not I will feel it feel it.

#683

I'm too critical for children.

#682

When you think about it, the Predator plasma caster is one of the worst designed weapons ever, functionally speaking.  It still looks super awesome.

#681

I'm not sure how they do things back in France, but here, when you say the 16th, it means the 16th.

#680

I'm pretty sure my room doesn't have CO, so why are you beeping?

#679

My brain is just a giant bingo tumbler with ideas instead of ping pong balls.

#678

Ok, fine, I fixed it.  Happy?

#677

I'm just gonna leave it like that. You can figure it out.

#676

Anything that advertises removable spaulders is cool in my book.

#675

Thats how it work, coldness comes from breezes.

#674

I actually have legit toe armor.

#673

Wait, its already December?

#672

What if you died really suddenly at some point in the past and didn't realize it and everything right now is just a death dream?

#671

Any meat can be a breakfast meat if you want it hard enough.

#670

I will put this promo code to good use.

#669

Which Metal Gear game is Banana Some White Guy from?

#668

I still don't really care about Rainbow 6 Siege but Idris Elba is one hell of a spokesman, I'd almost buy it for that reason alone.

#667

Athena is pretty cool, all I'm saying is she's not the kind of person you'd want on a 90's Nickelodeon contest show.

#666

Sorry if you were all hyped about today's post but I don't believe in a "devil" or "hell" so it's really just another number.  Either way, its probably just Baphomet or electrical TV demons or whatever.  Blame Witch Doctor from Street Fighter.