#1031

Printmaking is the worst, but I am the best at it.

#1030

Gimme that White Russian now, you something something something....   Yeah.

#1029

John Lithgow is better than a Belgian assault rifle.

#1028

I'm like a strange wine, aged in a weird cask.

#1027

The weather isn't warm, it's spicy.

#1026

I starch my jeggings.

#1025

It wards off birds.  The subterranean birds.

#1024

Hey, hey, zzzzzzzzzzzzhh.

#1023

I used to think trash cans with foot pedals were fancy.

#1022

I should really get back into writing my dreams down again.

#1021

Don't worry, guys.  I found my spell book again.

#1020

I guess I shouldn't be surprised, but I never noticed that Cap just carries a handkerchief around with him in Age of Ultron.

#1019

Unequivocably.

#1018

Do you ever have that feeling where you can't tell if you're hungry or just bored?

#1017

Raisins are just an excuse for farmers to sell you grapes that have gone off.

#1016

My beard grows off to one side.

#1015

I'd rather be right than normal.

#1014

Good old Rick "Shotgun" Grimes and "Hand Cannon" Carl.

#1013

Goddamn it, Paul, I don't like you but your the only person talking about the stuff I like.

#1012

I just want the new wave of Nerf to come out so it can take my mind off of this mess.

#1011

I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed, America.

#1010

Did anyone ever make fries with the ketchup on the inside?

#1009

I actually couldn't decide which TV show was less nauseating, more election coverage or people just gutting fish for their weird fish parts.

#1008

Dr. Strange

or

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Eye of Agamoto.

#1007

That's over 7 times worse.

#1006

I don't use it very often, but when I need it, Splashtop remote desktop thingy has saved my ass.

#1005

It's always nighttime in space.

#1004

The thing you have to remember is that people are people.

#1003

It doesn't matter if you just stumbled into it, if you start talking about dinosaurs around me, I'm gonna bring the knowledge.

#1002

Bakula?