#1152

Maximum balls.

#1151

Do flies read the newspaper as you swing it at them?

#1150

Is mayo an acceptable topping for a hot dog?

#1149

Clearly, it's a wyvern, not a true dragon, you nerd.

#1148

Mo' cabbage mo' problems.

#1147

Michele Bachmann thinks "apex" is a plural noun.

#1146

The real question is why isn't she called Sailor Earth?

#1145

Any Transformers movie can be summarized as "THERE'S ROBOTS OUT THERE.  DID YOU GUYS HEAR THERE'S ROBOTS?? But where'd they go, though?"

#1144

I'm simultaneously remembering why I played Skyrim and why I stopped.

#1143

You're telling me this whole hour-long show is entirely about home loans and mortgages?  And there's call-in guests?

#1142

Welcome to Timothial Ponderings.

#1141

Whatever it is, it's still probably just Baphomet.  Anything at all.

#1140

Social balls.

#1139

I'm pretty sure a combination of Space Jam and A Goofy Movie are responsible for my taste in music.

#1138

I love blueberry muffins with a passion that burns with the fire of maybe a dozen or so suns.

#1137

The evening has devolved into a series of Columbo impressions.

#1136

When the bar is lying on the floor, just make sure you don't stub your toe.

#1135

I d'do d'declare.

#1134

It's like a Metal Gear, but it's Godzilla with just a splash of Evangelion.  I want one.

#1133

You've done Mr. Bizkit a great disservice.

#1132

Problematicnessocitizedly.

#1131

I dislike rigging so much, I decided to do laundry instead.

#1130

I've been pronouncing "replenish" with a T for my entire life and it's kind of blowing my mind knowing that that's wrong.

#1129

Skullmblr.

#1128

Fruity Cheerios are like the parenthetical form of Froot Loops.

#1127

I hate how similar the words oral and aural are. That's like if the chin was renamed the nohz.

#1126

A Spanish radio station made me super hungry. I don't even know what they were saying.

#1125

Jason is getting a really raw deal, and it's because we say so.

#1124

Wouldn't it be a hell of a twist if, in Alien Covenant, the alien shows up like "SCREEEEEEEActually I just wanted to know if you guys had any available job openings.  Here's my résumé.  I just graduated from Jim's torso with a degree in Applied Two-Mouthedness."

#1123

I think I'm trying to like coleslaw but it isn't happening.

#1122

We're jumping just short of conclusions.